areyoutryingtodeduceme:

infinitefacepalm:

downtothelastbullet:

greenet:

tikaka:

clockworksexual:

iwoulddeduceyoutwice:

sugarkitteh:

bigbangpunch:

BRITISH VERSION OF THIS:

1. BOIL THE KETTLE - IF YOU HAVE TO USE A STOVE OR MICROWAVE SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE

2. USE ANY WATER IN EXISTENCE - FUCK FILTERING THAT SHIT YOU DON’T HAVE TIME TO MAKE A PROFILE YOUR SHOW IS BACK ON IN 5 MINUTES PRESS A

3. THROW WHATEVER THE HELL TEABAG YOU HAVE IN THERE - FUCK LOOSE TEA THAT IS FOR WHEN YOU ORDER TEA OUTSIDE

4. USE YOUR STIRRING TEABAG METHOD OF CHOICE, ADD SUGAR/SWEETENER LIKE A BOSS OR NOT IF YOU ARE A HEALTHY BOSS

5. GRUMBLE LIKE A FISHERMAN BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE KETTLE AREA TO GO TO THE FRIDGE TO GET MILK AND BACK TO IT AGAIN AFTER YOU ADD IT

6. RUN BACK TO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING, TAKE A COMFORT SIP AND THEN EITHER FINISH IT OR FORGET ABOUT IT AND MOAN ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU LET IT GO COLD

****

EDIT: IF YOU CAN’T SPOT IF NOT FROM THIS ALONE THEN THE NATURE OF MY TUMBLR THAT I’M NOT MAKING A DIG AT HER COMIC SIMPLY POINTING OUT HOW LAZY WE ARE OVER HERE WITH TEA THEN GET OFF THE INTERNET. THE COMIC COVERS ALL TEA OPTIONS. COME AT ME BRO.

THE AUSTRALIAN VERSION

JUST GET THE BLOODY BILLY ON THE FIRE AND THROW IN A FISTFUL OF TEA FOR EACH BUGGER AFTER THE WATER BOILS

TAKE OFF FIRE

WAIT UNTIL IT REACHES DESIRED STRENGTH

CAPABLE OF SUPPORTING A SPOON STOOD UPRIGHT IN IT IS IDEAL

WHACK BILLY TO ENCOURAGE SINKING OF TEA LEAVES

POUR IT OUT

ADD AS MUCH MILK AND SUGAR AS YOU LIKE OR NOT AT ALL VEGEMITE IS ACCEPTABLE

DRINK IT DOWN WHILE RIDING OFF INTO THE OUTBACK ON YOUR BIG RED KANGAROO ON A SADDLE MADE OF DROPBEAR PELTS, WITH YOUR TRUSTY BRUMBY PACKING ALONG YOUR SWAG AND A DINGO BY YOUR SIDE

CHEERS MATE

CANADIAN VERSION

WHAT IS ENGLAND DOING?

OK NOW COPY THAT SHIT AND JUST CHANGE A FEW THINGS

NO PUSSY REAL “TEAWARE”, WE HAVE NORMAL COFFEE MUGS FOR THAT SHIT.

USE WHATEVER APPLIANCE YOU WANT TO HEAT THE DAMN WATER, YEAH WE SIGNED OUR FUCKING FREEDOM. NO ONE SAID IT WAS MANDATORY FOR KETTLES!

SIT LIKE A CLASSY MAN/WOMAN AND WAIT FOR IT TO BOIL

EAT SOME BACON

THROW A TEABAG IN THERE, LOOSE TEA IS FOR MY MONARCHIST AUNT.

DUMP SO MUCH SUGAR IN IT THAT YOU GET DIABETES AND SO MUCH MILK THAT YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE AND MILK THE COW, BETSY.

TAKE A SIP.

SCALD YOURSELF AND ALMOST DROP MUG, SPILLING IT DOWN THE FRONT OF YOUR BACK IN THE PROCESS.

REALIZE TEA ISN’T TOO MUCH OF YOUR THING AND GO BACK TO COFFEE.

AMERICAN VERSION

FIND A CUP(?) (ANY CLEAN, CUP-LIKE INSTRUMENT WILL WORK)

FILL IT WITH TAP WATER

ADD FIVE SPOONFULS OF INSTANT ICED TEA POWDER

STIR THAT SHIT SO HARD YOU SPILL SOME ON THE COUNTER, LET GO OF THE SPOON SO YOU CAN WATCH IT SPIN

DRINK IT AND CHOKE BECAUSE IT’S TOO SWEET

POUR SOME INTO THE SINK AND ADD WATER IN HOPES THAT IT WILL TASTE ACCEPTABLE

REPEAT UNTIL YOU GET IT RIGHT

ADD ICE CUBES AND A STRAW TO ENHANCE CLASSINESS

FINNISH VERSION

FUCK THE KETTLE, JUST TAKE THE PAIL FROM THE SAUNA

IF THE WATER ISN’T BOILING, YOU’RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG

TOSS THE BIRCH VIHTA IN THE WATER AND LET IT SEEP FOR A WHILE

GET A BOTTLE OF VODKA

DRINK THE VODKA

FORGET THE “TEA” UNTIL IT COOLS DOWN

RINSE YOUR NAKED BODY WITH THE BIRCH TEA

GO ROLL IN THE SNOW AND SCREAM FOR YOUR ANCIENT GODS

NORWEGIAN VERSION

BOIL WATER IN ELECTRIC KETTLE

TAKE OUT INSTANT COFFEE

DRINK COFFEE

…WHAT DO YOU MEAN “TEA”?

SOUTHERN VERSION

GET A POT AND PUT SOME WATER AND A BUNCH OF TEA BAGS IN THAT SONOFABITCH

BOIL THAT SHIT

PUT THAT SHIT IN A PITCHER

ADD SUGAR

KEEP ADDING SUGAR

NO, YOU’RE NOT DONE YET

WHEN THE SUGAR HAS REACHED ITS SATURATION POINT AND IS NO LONGER ACTUALLY DISSOLVING IN BOILING WATER THEN YOU’RE DONE

(i am not making this up i know people who make it that way)

FILL THE REST OF THAT SHIT UP WITH WATER AND PUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER IN THE ICEBOX

ENJOY THAT SHIT WITH A NICE TASTY PLATE OF DEEP-FRIED THINGS

How To Make Tea. In multiple countries.

YOU’RE WELCOME, TUMBLR.

(via hardlyinventive)

matchstickmolly:

Healthy Foods to Reconsider

Greatist.com put together a list of 19 “Healthy” Foods to Reconsider…and these are some of my favorites! I’m not at all saying you should cut these out (I could never stop eating peanut butter!) or even cut down on them. Just make sure you check out the nutrition label and make an educated decision for yourself on how healthy it is. Of course eat what you’d like—but don’t get caught eating something you don’t like just because it’s healthy…when it really isn’t.

1. Trail Mix
Yes, it’s packed with protein and omega-3s, and makes for a portable, satisfying snack. But what lurks behind these nutty, prepackaged snacks are loads of excess sugar, oils, and preservatives. Even though the nuts in trail mix are filled with heart-healthy fats, that also means they’re high in calories. Add on the extra-salty varieties and sugar-packed dried fruits, and there’s a bit of a dilemma. Avoid prepackaged mixes with lots of fruit and opt for homemade batches with unsalted nuts and all-natural fruits.

2. Hummus
This one’s another calorie trap, with each container packing up to 700 calories! While this garbanzo bean-based dip does offer a good dose of protein, heart-healthy fats, and fiber, working it into a healthy diet is all about portion control. Stick to one serving (2 tablespoons) to keep the calorie count under 80 calories. Also, stick to lower-calorie and carb dippers like fresh or lightly steamed veggies like carrots, celery, snap peas, or broccoli instead of pita chips or pretzels.

3. Sushi
It’s a healthier dinner than fried chicken, we’ll give you that. But despite the fresh veggies and omega-3-filled fish, sushi can be a silent killer when it comes to calorie counts, often packed with too much rice (sometimes a full cup per roll!), fried fillings, and heavy sauces. Instead, opt for sashimi (slices of fish without the rice), or a brown rice roll with only fresh fish (hold the sauce). Another word to the wise: Stay away from special Americanized rolls (like the popular Philadelphia roll) that are often filled with extra calories from cream cheese or (yes) even bacon.

16 more at the Greatist!

brain-food:

I make this for my work lunch sometimes during the week. Its quite delicious. 

(via norwegianelephant)

bitchville:

How you make Thai Ice Tea! So awesome, a must watch.

Whenever I visit Thailand, I always would buy Thai Ice Tea off the streets, it tastes so good my piss turns the same colour as the tea!